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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455058">maybe we could</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction'>fated_addiction</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>let's talk about the weather [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>K-pop, Real Person Fiction, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:34:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Joy sends cupcakes.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Irene, on growing pains. Uncertainty is still a bitch.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>let's talk about the weather [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>maybe we could</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This follows <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434352">sometimes i'm</a> and should be read before. I hope everyone enjoys!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-</p><p> </p><p>joy sends cupcakes.</p><p>“she’s pissed at me,” seulgi tells irene. “yeri told me after the broadcast.”</p><p>irene doesn’t touch that. peels off the wrapper from a cupcake. she sticks her finger in the icing. licks it off. it feels like a rare moment alone.</p><p>“do you know why?”</p><p>seulgi stares straight at her. they’ve conquered a corner in the green room. they have one more broadcast on their schedule.</p><p>“you do know why.” seulgi narrows her eyes. touches her wrist; irene jerks her hand back. “you suck at lying.”</p><p>a million butterflies explode in irene’s stomach. her breath catches and seulgi is way too close. there are plenty of people around her and she sort of backs away, gripping the cupcake. she feels a little stupid.</p><p>“I’m not lying. i don’t know why she’s mad at me. i’m barely dealing with anything else.”</p><p>seulgi smiles a little and irene breathes. reassurance feels a little sparse.</p><p>she can barely deal with what happened with her and wendy. and it really doesn’t matter when happened: it’s imprinted itself in a way that she wasn’t ready for. maybe it’s guilt. but the fierceness of the moment is almost too much for guilt.</p><p>she hates that she remembers kissing wendy and then there’s seulgi.</p><p>“i think i made a mess,” she confesses.</p><p>seulgi touches her arm. “what?”</p><p>a fact: irene likes to think of herself as completely pragmatic, almost to the point of being obsessive. there are certain things that she gets lost in. dancing, for one, is as personal and intimate to her as singing is to the others. so when seulgi touches the crook of her elbow, she is okay. when she’s closer than the others, she stays okay. when they think about how they move around each other, how they can be closer, and is closer too close - it’s on a completely different level. it makes sense to her.</p><p>“i don’t know,” she says. the cupcake is forgotten. “I think I should - i just don’t know.”</p><p>the best part about being on schedule is that there’s no room to talk. she can also say these things and that’s that.</p><p>seulgi only smiles and shrugs. she’s okay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>there are too many starting points.</p><p>it was seulgi and irene first. chemistry and hype. some of irene’s favorite memories are about dancing with seulgi; there are smaller moments embedded in between them. the ones were a touch on the wrist isn’t just a touch. seulgi’s arm around her waist was never meant to be that tight; she likes to be close and irene prefers her closer.</p><p>but then there’s wendy.</p><p>“she’s the wild card,” she tells jennie at dinner, after her second glass of champagne. she hates champagne. but she can be honest with someone who isn’t involved. “i don’t know what to do.”</p><p>jennie snorts. “i can relate.”</p><p>“it’s different,” irene insists. waves her hand around. “wendy is…” she pauses because she’s about to say something stupid and that isn’t fair. “i can’t pretend to understand what she’s going through. in fact, i'd probably be a mess.”</p><p>“you wouldn’t.” jennie leans forward, grabbing her champagne. the glass is empty and she pretends to not look at her phone. “the thing is,” she says, “you are thinking about it like you have to, not because you <i>need</i> to or want to. that's the difference. that's probably where wendy’s at too.”</p><p>the worst part about being friends with jennie isn’t the lack of privacy, it’s that she’s usually right. it's what a friend is supposed to do. friends within the business come with a harsher insight; it’s literally honesty with knives.</p><p>“she <i>kissed</i> me.”</p><p>the half-truth stumbles forward. it’s the champagne, irene tells herself. and then again: it’s the <i>champagne</i>.</p><p>“oh.” watching the confession dawn over jennie’s face should be really funny. that if irene knew how to deal too. “oh,” jennie says.</p><p>her phone vibrates next to her. maybe, finally. jennie switches gears from someone listening to someone in mid-panic. <i>i'm going through it</i>, she’ll say later. mean it. because it’s usually about lisa. it’s all relatively simple, you see. they work too close together.</p><p>lines blur, you know? </p><p>this is what she tries to tell herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“can we talk?”</p><p>the only advice is to go to the source. wendy is the only one that admits she’s in the practice room. so irene goes. because it’s making her crazy; not because the gaps in her schedule with seulgi help.</p><p>so:</p><p>wendy is sitting in the middle of the floor. the lights are low. wendy sings with a mood and when she’s alone, it’s usually just her, headphones, and maybe her phone out, depending on the song. wendy scares her most like this. she’s otherworldly and doesn’t even know. it seems a little dramatic to point out high notes that shouldn’t be hit and bridges that really stab you in the heart. but there’s wendy and wendy can sing and leave the rest of them behind.</p><p>“can we talk?” she repeats, sitting in front of wendy.</p><p>the other girl is more than aware that she’s there, right in front of her. gives her a partial glance, maybe a glare, and puts her phone down. it’s been awhile since she’s heard wendy sing. feels like it.</p><p>that’s selfish, she thinks. pushes on. “i feel like we should.”</p><p>“about what?”</p><p>“really?”</p><p>wendy shrugs. “it’s a valid question.” there’s a sharpness in her voice that wasn’t there before. she clears her throat. “and,” she drawls. she leans forward on her knees. “i don’t bite.”</p><p>that unnerves the hell out of her. to the point where irene has to draw herself back. straighten her shoulders too. she rests her hands on the floor, her palms pressing hard and flat. conflict resolution, she thinks. but the company isn’t big on that. it’s more like: do your job and figure it out yourselves. <i>it’s complicated</i> is just the easiest excuse.</p><p>“but you did,” she murmurs. her eyes move to wendy’s mouth, watching. “we both know that you did.”</p><p>wendy doesn’t say anything to that.</p><p>neither of them do. they sit there and stare at each other. the lights bother irene; they are way too low for her, harsh in a way that crawls under her skin. no one’s near them either. someone said that wendy’s vocal coach won’t come until later that night. she has the time, she tells herself. like it’s supposed to give her some kind of courage.</p><p>but it doesn’t and that’s the truth.</p><p>“i don’t have anything to say.”</p><p>irene looks up, surprised.</p><p>“i don’t know.” wendy runs a hand through her hair, pulling gently at the ends. she frowns a little. “there could be a thousand things that i could say, but what’s the point? me listening to you grapple with your feelings again?”</p><p>“so you’re doing it to punish me,” she says.</p><p>wendy snorts. “yah, are you really that self-centered?” her face is flushed too and irene is too fascinated to look away. “i kissed you,” wendy says. out loud. and that makes it even more terrifying. it starts to crawl under irene’s skin and wendy inches forward, legs still crossed. “and i’m not sorry i did it. so i guess that makes me selfish then.”</p><p>irene doesn’t know what to say. there’s this weird turn of guilt that unsettles her. like she should understand what wendy is trying to say. instead, she thinks about how intimidating the other girl is, how her being sure of herself means that everything she thought, everything she neatly packed into place, is all wrong. that is what she doesn’t know how to handle.</p><p>“i like –”</p><p>“seulgi.” wendy finishes her sentence; irene thinks the confession feels a little hollow. “i know,” she says. “you told me.”</p><p>and maybe it’s how she says it, or how she looks at her, like really looks at her. but irene panics because wendy feels like she’s pulling away. her hands jerk forward and she grabs her by the wrists, pushing her forward, right into her. she’s not entirely sure how her head turns or how she dips forward or even how her mouth suddenly lands right over wendy’s. how she kisses her.</p><p>this kiss isn’t it: it pours right into irene, makes her skin crawl and singe. wendy isn’t passive but she’s soft; she opens her mouth when irene opens her mouth, turns her fingers over irene’s wrist when irene slips her tongue between her lips. irene feels like she’s fumbling. wendy kissed her with a certainty that she didn’t have; there are butterflies in her stomach and the feeling is too new. this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.</p><p>but wendy ends it. cups irene’s face gently. her expression crumbles just slightly, her mouth wet and flushed and parting into a sigh. she flicks her fingers against irene’s nose.</p><p>“i don’t dance like seulgi.” her words are much kinder. “and i don’t want to. i’m not here to make you comfortable.”</p><p>there's too much in that. it takes everything in irene not to run away. because she can. the opportunity is there.</p><p>instead, she slides up to stand. she brushes her hands against her jeans. she isn’t late, she thinks vaguely. but seulgi and their managers will be downstairs, waiting with coffee and encouragement. she tries to think of things to say back. tries all the way up to the door, to the exit. she pauses only briefly, her heels clicking into a stop. </p><p>irene doesn’t really turn. or doesn’t remember that she does. she tries to be honest. that's the problem.</p><p>“i don’t know how to keep up with you,” she says.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“do you know what your problem is?”</p><p>joy comes to visit their shoot next. in person, she greets everyone up until makeup. specifically where irene sits. it happens too fast - her fingers are in irene’s hair; she’s already said something to seulgi apparently because she’s disappeared into wardrobe, face set into place.</p><p>“i bet you’re going to tell me,” irene says dryly. </p><p>joy presses her fingers into her scalp, dragging them lightly. she watches irene in the big mirror in front of her makeup chair. holds her gaze and even smiles brightly.</p><p>“of course i am.” her expression darkens into something serious. “but can you guess?”</p><p>irene’s throat dries. her ears are ringing. somewhere behind them, the practice shudders of the camera start.</p><p>she doesn’t have an answer. joy pulls her fingers back and rests her hands on the chair, right by her arms.</p><p>joy’s always too honest anyway. “you only want what you can see.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>the safest thing would be breakfast. or showing up back at the practice room, where wendy has been spending a lot of time lately, working through herself and being out for too long. at least, this is what the others are suddenly telling her. since whatever she’s done has only earned her some kind of radio silence from wendy.</p><p>but what she can afford is different: it’s a knock on her bedroom door, right after her physical therapy. </p><p>“how did it go?” she asks, walking right into wendy’s bedroom like she has a plan. spoiler alert: she doesn’t and she should know better.</p><p>wendy is looking down at the floor and doesn’t answer. irene manages to survey the scene: wendy’s fingers are digging into the bed and she’s steadying herself, her breathing, and it’s entirely too intimate for her. there’s just nowhere else to go and irene goes straight to hating herself.</p><p>“i'm fine,” wendy replies, after awhile. “just tired – why are you here?”</p><p>“i had an answer for you an hour ago.”</p><p>wendy laughs and it’s genuine. the butterflies are back in irene’s stomach and she feels herself smile, just a little.</p><p>“since we’re being honest,” wendy says. “i really don’t have the mental and physical energy to talk to you right now. if you’re here to talk. i don’t think it’s good for me or you.”</p><p>“is there ever going to be a good time?”</p><p>“no.”</p><p>the push and pull of answers goes a little faster than anticipated. wendy even looks up, finally, at irene. it gives her a little courage and she moves to sit next to her, on the bed, and thinks things like i should have brought your favorite tea with too much regret. she came and there wendy was.</p><p>“you’re right,” irene murmurs. even with a little laugh. she rubs her eyes. “of course, you’re right.”</p><p>“i don’t mean to be.”</p><p>you can’t romanticize the halfway point either, she wants to say. irene bites her lip. she decides the impossible too: grabs, slowly, wendy’s legs and twists so that they’re resting in her lap. it seems like the thing to do until wendy grimaces and she’s about to panic push her legs off, but wendy reaches for her hand and stops her, her fingers resting over her knuckles.</p><p>“i wouldn’t be able to keep up,” she says. it’s self-deprecating enough for irene to know exactly what she’s trying to say to her.</p><p>you see, wendy wears her emotions on more than just her sleeves. they're in her eyes and her voice, in the way she reaches for someone or how she laughs. it feels like forever since irene’s thought of her this way, or has known to think of her in this way, and maybe that’s the truth, there, right <i>there</i>, that in her own way, she’s been avoiding wendy all along.</p><p>“with what?” irene tries to play pretend.</p><p>wendy smiles and it hurts. her face is an open book and irene’s sure she doesn’t mean to. her days are much longer than all of theirs. but that shouldn’t matter. irene hits her selfishness like a wall.</p><p>she has to look away. it’s the only answer she has. and it’s pathetic, she thinks. </p><p>wendy remains herself though. “when you figure that out, you let me know,” she says.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>irene misses a step the next rehearsal.</p><p>it's not a big step, but it’s there. she sees it in the mirror, right in front of seulgi and the other dancers, sweat gathering at the back of her neck. she's breathing too hard and someone cuts the music and yells <i>break!</i> because they’re entering another hour.</p><p>still, no one tells her a thing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I honestly didn't intend on starting a series, but I couldn't stop thinking about it and here we are. Work distractions, you know? Anyways, there's one more planned one-parter after this and the whole series will have its own link that I have to finagle and put together. I'll link that after.</p><p>But as always, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate every comment.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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